Nostalgia

I was reflecting back on life in Montreal, particularly missing my beautiful studio apartment. It had so much character for a mundane layout. I miss all the beautiful sunrises and eating by myself to a candle and Christmas lights. I was saying how I miss my old life. My supervisor then asked me if I would miss my life now in a few months, when I move away and start something else. And then all this stuff happened in my head:

It’s funny how I often learn to appreciate things in retrospect, when I’m no longer in that place, experiencing those things. I realized that all time is the same. Life still has so much to offer, just as it did before; it doesn’t stop when you enter into a new place. What I love about Montreal is not same as what Fort McMurray has to offer; it’ll be unfair to compare them that way. But my heart has been filled and challenged. And I’ll miss this place when I’m gone. I miss it already.

And then there’s that sadness of loss. I use to try to avoid sadness, but it’s not sadness that ought to be avoided, it’s living in another time and being restricted from engaging in the present. Sadness is beautiful. I think if your sadness comes from a place of adoration and thanksgiving – in acknowledging that what you have, or once had, was a wonderful gift – then that sadness can only increase your love and appreciate for life. It won’t lead you into apathy or bitterness. Instead, it’ll be a reminder that life has been good to you, and that what you once had is available at this present time, never the same but equally as great, if you are willing to accept it.

I wanted to get a diploma in bereavement counseling when I was coming out of high school. Loss was really interesting to me and still is: the idea that what we have now is always passing away. I watched a video on the topic of grieving. It suggested that the key to happiness is grief, as in the acknowledgment that everything will eventually end. They asked: “what makes you stop and look at a flower?” Is it not the acknowledgment that it will not always be here? That it is unlike the rest? An end is not a punishment; it’s just how it goes. Everything is beautiful in its own time. So don’t be scared to be sad, and always remember how fortunate you are.

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“I miss my life”

Chelsea

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